Heather Kindergarten 1977
When I was in kindergarten I walked home, not surprising because we were walkers and we lived close to the school. It wasn't ever a problem except for a few weeks when I was in kindergarten. There was this little boy that would call me "hot dog". It started taking me a looong time to walk home from school because I was trying to hide and or avoid the little boy. I was a shy little kid and it about made me sick everyday worrying about the walk home. My Mother quickly had enough of the teasing...and marched on down to Thomas Jefferson Elementary School with me to confront the little offender. I remember the confrontation as clear as day. "Why do you call my little girl "hot dog", said Mom. "Because I like her," was the sheepish response from the little boy. "Hot dog" was never a problem after that, in fact we became good little friends on our walks home.
But nobody likes to be called names or be made to feel weird or different. Hunter's 7th grade has been discussing pioneers and moving out to the West in social studies. As you can imagine the subject of Mormons has been coming up. Well, there are 2 boys in his class, one at lunch and then one on his basketball team that have been giving him a hard"ish" time. So, Hunter won't talk about it, and then something will happen and he will flood me with all these feelings. Last night was one of those floods. Yesterday, in class, they were discussing polygamy. The way it was presented to the class, I'm not sure if it was the teachers fault or the text book...it sounded like polygamy was still practiced today. Hunter raised his hand and told his teacher and his class that "you know Mormons don't practice polygamy any more, right?" The teacher promptly told him that, "yes some of the fundamentalist Mormons still practice polygamy and it's illegal". Case closed? I wanted to know if he set her straight. He hadn't, he just didn't say anything after that. So, today he is going to go in and clarify- yet again, that members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints are not the same as those other fundamentalist groups-they aren't Mormons. Grrrrr!!!
As far as the kids that say stuff to him well...there is the kid at lunch that told Hunter yesterday he couldn't sit there because he was Mormon. There have been questions in the past like are those Mormon chips? Is that what a Mormon sandwich looks like? The kid on the basketball team wanted to know how many Moms Hunter had among other things. Usually pretty harmless, although yesterday Hunter said he was particularly annoying. So annoying Hunter said he felt like punching him. I think yesterday was a bad day. The kids in class likes to debate Mormonism. Not a bad thing. I don't think there is anything wrong with questions, granted we are different.
But it's the thing with the teacher and then the thing that happened at lunch (saying he couldn't sit there because he was Mormon) that really have me ticked off. I appointed myself pray giver at breakfast this morning...five minutes later I think I had everything covered. I do realize 5 minutes can be a longish breakfast prayer, but there were things that needed to be said. There may have been a sigh or two and a possible nudge. Just saying. Hunter is a popular kid, I'm not worried he doesn't have friends, he isn't even the only Mormon in his circle of friends. There are a lot of LDS kids around. Although, Hunter feels like he is the only one singled out-typical feelings for a pre-teen I'm sure. The reason I'm tell you all of this, and my hot dog story is, I want to be like my Mom, I want to march in there and talk to the teacher (I still might if things don't get resolved) and to those dumb kids and tell them to leave my kid alone. I realize with the gay marriage debate as of late, LDS people haven't been seen in the best of light. It's so hard to see your kids go through hard stuff. You want to make it go away, but you can't. It's part of life, it makes them stronger people, it makes them figure out what THEY truly believe. They begin to realize what they believe and stand for aren't always popular. But still it's hard.
To end on a somewhat happy note, I was giving him advice on things to say, particularly to the kid at lunch. I told him to say, "wow (insert kids name) it sounds like you are really interested in my Church, if you aren't careful I will stick the missionaries on you". Hunter just laughed, I don't think he will be using my advice.
9 comments:
This post breaks my heart. I remember all those awkward Mormon moments from when I was in school, and I was terrible about sticking up for myself and my religion. It sounds like Hunter will be fine, but it is still hard not to worry. I think if things don't get better you have every right to march down there.
uggg. the momma bear in me is raging right now & i'm not even his momma! he's tough & he'll handle it well, but i hate this, too... you'll be getting a phone call from me today about it. stupid sob's. :(
and i love that hot dog picture. you were one cute little hot dog, still are in fact!
That is a cute picture of you! Hunter looks alot like you. It sounds like the whole teaching of the pioneers is a little Mormon heavy? Why are they discussing that so much? That would be one question I would have for the teacher. Hunter sounds like he is doing just fine for himself. He may just need to vent a little with you after handling himself so well and maturely all day!
Geez! The teacher definitely needs to get a little earful. Good for Hunter for being a solid guy who knows how it is.
It was 7th grade in Baton Rouge so many eons ago when my Social Studies teacher was teaching false doctrine in class. I don't even remember what it was, but I said it wasn't accurate and then some kid said, "how do you know?" and I said, "because I am a Mormon." One of the scariest things I ever did. Still, I kept all my friends and life went right on. Go figure.
Teacher still had to make some other comment about Mormons and finish it with, "and that is a fact." As I recall it was about half true so I let it go.
Then in high school I had a friend say, "Really? You can eat chocolate? But there's caffeine in it!
Things that make you go "Oy vey!"
Hunter rocks. So says I.
Hey, at least he just called you hot dog. One guy in kindergarten threw rocks at me. My mom told the principal and his teacher walked him home for a week!!! Ah, the good old days.
As for the Mormon thing, I had to call my college professor when it sounded like he was making fun of Joseph Smith. In my world civ class I was surrounded by returned missionaries and I was the only one to put my grade on the line, kind of scary, but the prof apologized the next day.
You are a great mom, let your instincts and Hunter's thoughts guide what you do.
aw, that's so hard. i remember going through that growing up. you're such a good mama, and handling it just right!
Heather... Sometimes even the teacher needs to be educated... G just give her a copy of your blog post...it will get her thinking if she is in tune with the feelings of her students. Teachers need to inspire a safe place for learning, not pass on their own prejudices. You should feel pretty proud of Hunter for sticking up for himself!
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