Thursday, February 07, 2008
Walking to school
I am so amused this morning. So, my neighbor Kellie's kids are slow pokes getting ready in the morning. Like, they get up at a good time and spend the morning lolly gagging (is that really a word) around. She spent (past tense) her morning yelling and getting herself all worked up. UNTIL she bought this book Parenting With Love and Logic. It's all about teaching your kids responsiblity, in a loving, nurturing sort of way. Now, the kids get up and she doesn't interfer. She lets them make their own choices on what to wear, you get the picture. Usually, all has been well. There have been a few close calls with one daughter, but everyone has always made the bus. Not this morning, they both missed it. So, Kellie is sitting there with all of us, "what should I do??" Being the kind hearted soul that I am, I said "the natural consequence for missing the bus, is walking..." So the girls came out, and Kellie said "you missed the bus, get walking". I do enjoy natural consequences for my kids. But I too have noticed I'm having to monitor a little bit more and poke them along. Frustrating!! I am so proud of her, I know it's hard for her to let natural consequences happen, but I am so using her as MY example now. I'm looking, hunting for more natural consequences. So, so, so amused this morning. You should have seen the look on one of the girl's faces. Ahhhh, I know I'm evil, but I can't help it :)
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10 comments:
oh yeah - you gotta love the love and logic theory. it slaps the kids across the face at first, but it really gets them moving. they realize "oh no, mom's (or teacher) not getting mad. but that doesn't mean things won't happen." i try not getting mad. but i definitely love the logic aspect!
I imagine the girls thought mom will "just drive us." Good for her. It is a hard thing to let the consequences fall. Good lesson for us all.
My daughter in law and son use the love and logic stuff -- somtimes I find it hard but I hear good things about it.
Never really heard a bad thing about that method. Good for that mom. that's a tuff thing. I remember my mom making us walk and be late. I thought she was hitler.
Heather, you are my hero. I love your "natural consequence" idea. I have read Love and Logic, I think it's a good one.
Excuse me, when can I start trying this technique on my kids? "You dumped the yogurt on the floor but you are still hungry? The natural consequence is you beat the dog to licking it off the floor." Or "The natural consequence is you wait another two hours for a snack while I sit here and enjoy one myself." This IS fun.
We're all about natural consequences here. I tell my kids that means I love them!!
I love the Love and Logic advice...very good indeed. We try to follow it around here...well sometimes.
BTW...I say lolly gagging IS a word since I use it all the time:)
I did great with the natural consequences when my kids were small - I remember Paige one day running to the bus with her socks and shoes in her hand, crying because she not only wasn't ready, but hadn't eaten.
I didn't take any pleasure in it - in fact, I remember being ready to burst out into tears.
Now, here I am with teens and having to relearn the whole process again on different subjects. This time, they don't care . . .
Parenting is just non-stop fun!
I agree with natural consequences but I'm finding that a lot of the things my kids do that I wish would stop don't have a lot of natural consequences to attach (unless I'm missing the mark), like I can see the natural consequence to not bringing a coat to school on a cold day but hitting your brother? what to do there!!!! LOL
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